What Could 20 Minutes a Day Do?

20 minutes is 1/1440 part of the day. It is almost nothing! Yet, in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,John Gottman says, if “fitness buffs spent just 10% of their weekly workout time-- say 20 minutes a day-- working on their marriage instead of their bodies, they would get three times the health benefits they derive from exercise class or the treadmill.” While it is true according to his research that:

happy marriage= healthy people

But that is not my point. 20 minutes. Just 20 minutes a day working on my marriage. That thought has resonated in my mind since I read that quote. When was the last time I spent 20 minutes “working” on my marriage on a daily basis?

I have said this before because I really believe it, but my husband and I are happily married. Not perfectly married, but we are happy and trying. But I have seen all too often that things as they are now, are not guaranteed to always be. Basically, things are always changing. People are always changing. Despite the fact that the things that we struggle with don’t often change without a ton of effort, things that we put no effort in maintaining change fairly rapidly.

So, let’s look for just a second at 20 minutes. What could we accomplish in 20 minutes of concentrated effort every day? I think of all the things I do on a daily basis and honestly, most of them are centered on survival.

I spent 20 minutes preparing and eating breakfast.

I do about the same, if not longer, with lunch.

And I spend about 3 times that on dinner.

I spend maybe twice that getting ready for the day,

Twice that exercising every day.

And 1.5 times that on spiritual revival every day.

So, how much time did I use to take care of (actually WORK on) the most important relationship in my world? I don’t even want to think about how little time that was.

Here is the thing. Our bodies aren’t healthy without some concentrated and regular care to them. We can eat fast food, and that is great occasionally, especially when time is short. But every meal, every day? Not healthy. Relationships are not different. If I hope for a happy marriage for eternity it is going to require focus and effort.

What could and would you do if you spent 20 minutes of concentrated effort every day working on your marriage?