My husband and I were married on December 29, 2012. I would love to say that it was a wonderful sunny and warm winter day in Southern California. After all, the weather is always great in Southern California, right? Perfect for an outdoor reception, right? Wrong.
The entire week leading up to our big day was wonderful. And warm. On our particular day we woke up to cold and stormy skies. It rained ALL DAY! In that sense, the day looked like it would be a disaster.
It wasn’t a disaster though. Not even close actually. Everything was perfect. The overcasty skies held their own kind of beauty and promise and I was so excited about all that the day really was about, that I barely noticed the weather. It also probably helped that I had my hunk by my side every second. But in reality, the thing that made it the day the best day of my life was that I was marrying the man of my dreams for time and all eternity in the right place.
We were married in the LDS Newport Beach Temple. And I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
The real point is that that day we made a covenant with each other and the Lord that we would love, honor, and cherish each other for eternity. No parting at death. We vowed that we would stick together come rain or shine. After all, we were having our first day of rain anyways, how hard could it get??
Fast forward a few years and a few kids down the road, and we have learned some of life’s challenges can be more than we expected. We are learning what Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meant when he said, “Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” We, by no means, have faced the worst of the worst things. In fact, to many, I am sure that our trudge through life so far seems like it has been more like a breeze. But through our trials we are continuing to learn. After all, a 50% on a test in school would be a fail. And if that is all I would be willing to put forth for my marriage, my marriage would have done just that a long time ago: failed.
Elder Hafen goes on to say, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God.”
The fact of the matter is that marriage requires all of a person. It requires us to be better and more than we are. And if we will rise to the challenge, it continues to be well worth it.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not naive enough to think that living this way is always easy. Really it can be a terrifying thought. Elder Hafen continues, “Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma [in the Book of Mormon] called “incomprehensible joy.”
And that is why it’s worth it. “Incomprehensible joy.” Faith is hard, but the alternative is doubt, and that is impossible to live with.
On the day of our wedding, I could not have ever imagined “seeking happiness elsewhere by walking away.” Now, a few years later, it seems even more impossible to me. Yet, faith through the years has become a more important element in our marriage. Faith is the key that keeps us moving closer to our Savior and in so doing, closer to each other.
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