For Better Or Worse

The first day I laid eyes on what would be my husband I remember thinking, "Very cute. But looks young." It was a fleeting thought but there you have it. In some ways, the "but looks young" part ruled him out of my mental dating pool altogether, yet I can still tell you what he was wearing that day. And now a few years down the road, my heart skips a beat every time he pulls out that orange tie.

So, how did he work back into my mental dating pool?? There were a million reasons. In the end of the day, all those reasons can be summed up with the simple statement that anyone who is married can relate to... We fell in love. And the rest is history. Or is it?

History is a funny thing. After all, tomorrow's history is today. So, what does that mean for today? The answer to that question totally depends on the history we hope to gain. With that being said, I want to contemplate the questions, What are we doing to and for our future through how we are treating families?

In the past year or so, I have taken multiple classes regarding marriage and the family. Each class has spent significant time explaining the importance that traditional intact families play on individuals and societies. These studies have posed multiple questions in my mind about what societal trends are doing to the family and why we are standing by and allowing it. 

Families provide stability for couples. Children born into families experience greater opportunities and happiness. The future (there is that word again) of society is built on the children that are growing up in the society that we live in today. So what are today's policy and trends doing to those children for tomorrow?

Here is the root of what I am getting at. Ideas and policies that allow and accept things like abortion, or no fault divorce leave us regulating the fall of society instead of building our future. Children learn from what we are doing and allowing. Anyone who has ever been around kids know, they pick on things really quickly.

Here's an example, 

As it turns out children learn from their parents. What they learn depends on what they are seeing at home. Are children's needs met? What are parents teaching? Not just telling, but teaching? 

The point goes beyond taking care of children. For my parents, their point was to lovingly and patiently teach and show their children how to take care of ourselves.

So, society, what we are teaching our children when 40-50% of marriages end in divorce? Divorce doesn't make anyone happy. How do we handle conflict? Especially conflict within the home? Are we handling it with raised voices and hostile divorces? What are we teaching them about how to treat others and how to solve problems? 

In a talk on Divorce itself, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints, said, “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.” 

My husband and I have a loving relationship. And I am so grateful for that. Now, with these studies, and this quote, I can clearly see that falling in love took time and effort. Staying in love takes the same. And how I treat my sweetheart is witnessed my my children everyday. Moreover, they are learning how to live in society by the very way I treat him and them. My goal in my marriage is so not only stay together for our kids. But to stay happy for us all!